I just finished reading the book L’elegance du herisson. This is a book about Parisians, Japanese culture, philosophy, wealthy people, beauty and kindness.The book reminded me of my past 4 months in Paris, where I was doing my exchange program. To be frank I barely studied at HEC. If you ask any of my friends back in college to describe me, they would probably say something like "discipline, determined and always strives for excellence" But at HEC I was a lazy student who likes to surf on the internet for cheap flight tickets, paintings of Van Dyke and definition of "avant-garde". I did whatever i felt I wanted to do, not what I think I should do. The change can be traced back to the first class I took at HEC… The class is called intuitive intelligence and innovative leadership. Some people might think this kind of “soft skill” classes is too fluffy but for a person like me who is interested in psychology, the class is fascinating. The professor began the class with a little game. After the game he asked me how I felt about the game in front of 30 students:
Me: Well, I noticed that everyone has their own rhythm when they are playing the game so throughout the game I was trying to figure out their rhythms so we could win.
The professor: May I ask you, were you a consultant or a banker before MBA ?
Me: (amazed yet a bit embarrassed by how quickly he could see through me) : Yes, I used to be an analyst at a consulting firm. (Even worse, I was both if I counted my miserable summer experience..)
The Professor: I am not asking you what you were thinking when you play the game, I am asking you to share how you feel when you were playing the game.
Me: (OMG, OMG, OMG how did I feel? ) Well..... it’s weird because I felt both relaxing and uneasy at the same time.
The professor: (Smiling) In French there is a saying “ When John cries, John laughs. ” Theoretically speaking, it makes perfect sense for a person to experience contradictory feelings at the same time. What I find more interesting is how you described your own feeling. You said “It’s weird”. Do you notice that you were making a judgment and generalization about your feeling? and by doing so you are distancing yourself from your actual feeling and experience?
It wasn’t comfortable to be analyzed by the professor in front of 30 strangers but what he said had a deep impact on how I wanted to spend my precious 4 months in Paris. Instead of ”thinking ” what my exchange experience should be, I want to simply “feel” it. I know I cannot change the fact that I love to think and reflect but for the first time in my life I wanted something more than "trying to figure out why and how".
I wanted to be closer to my heart.
And I could not think of a place more beautiful and elegant than Paris for me to do so.
